Some Random Thoughts

1. Other than a barbecue sandwich I had two and a half weeks ago, I haven’t eaten meat (other than fish or shrimp) in twenty-one days. In those three weeks I’ve lost fifteen pounds.
2. Football is huge in Norman. Saturday was the first home game of the season (first game overall, too), and traffic was clogged up for a mile around campus three hours before kickoff. We’ll be staying home on game day from here on out. (And whoever created that website needs to review the spelling of "memorial.")
3. Pandora has been educational, at least in that it teaches me about me. What I’ve found is that “pretty” music bores me more often than not. While I can admire piano ballads and folk tunes, I need some dynamic element to keep my interest, whether that’s Tom Waits’s growly voice and quirky lyrics or the backbeat tension of a John Lee Hooker. Most often I’ll settle for a driving drum beat and rampaging bank of distorted guitars, but Tori Amos makes me want to drown myself.
4. If you can stand the heat, Oklahoma’s weather is almost uniformly beautiful. Except for the odd flash flood that washes out roads and kills half a dozen people. But they have that in Minnesota, too.
5. Whenever I read John Gardner’s The Art of Fiction I am both elated and despondent. Elated because I become convinced I’ve just discovered what my current (novel/short story/essay/ screenplay) is lacking, and despondent because my discovery means that all of my work to that point is preparation.

Some New Experiences Are Bad

We've had some fun here in Oklahoma, and for the most part we've learned a lot of things that we appreciate, and that benefit us. Today we experienced a couple of things native to Oklahoma that we'd rather not repeat. Michele blogged about this here.

The first was a bout with the insect life of the state. We've had a slow drain in the master bathtub since we moved in, and over the last few days I've tried some chemical treatments to fix it. Today I had poured some Liquid Plum'r down the drain and was flushing it with hot tap water when I thought I heard some squeaking. I shut the water off and turned to find Michele hopping up and down in the doorway with a grimace of discomfort on her face. My first thought was that she needed to use the toilet, but that wouldn't be a problem here as we have two bathrooms. She continued squeaking.

"Comehelpmecomesavemecomehereandgetit."

At least, I think that's what she said.

"Huh?" I said.

"There's a spider in the laundry it's on your shirt come and get it off."

At least now the words were identifiable. I walked down the hall behind my little wife, who was skipping and hopping and shuddering. She's had some girly-girl moments since we've been here, demanding that I dispatch bugs, from the formidable pill-bug to the less-formidable dead beetle. I wasn't all that alarmed as spiders are the worst things in the world as far as Michele is concerned. (Though earlier in the day she had stopped in the Target parking lot to pet a grasshopper--go figure.)

When I looked into the clothes dryer (which is in the guest bathroom) I saw a small brown lump on my blue shirt. I almost grabbed it with my fingers and tossed it in the toilet (which is what I normally do), but as I bent closer I thought, "That is kind of an ugly spider." So instead I picked up the shirt that the spider lay on.

Michele said, "Is it dead?"

"Yes." What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. The spider curled its legs a little as I picked up the shirt, and when it was floating on its back in toilet water its movements became more frantic. I flushed it and closed the lid. Michele was still shuddering and hopping.

I wanted to know what kind of spider it was, so I looked on the internet. The first picture that looked like a match was this one:
It's a brown recluse spider. Poisonous.


The second experience was gastronomical. Yesterday we picked up a new wine for dinner tonight. We decided to try an Oklahoma winery, and we settled on an "Oklahoma Shiraz" from Nukaya Winery. It should have concerned us that they called it an Oklahoma Shiraz, since that's the Australian term for the American Syrah. American = Syrah. Australian = Shiraz. It should have bothered us that we were buying a wine from people who didn't know the terminology as well as we did.*

We didn't heed that warning. Dang it.

When I popped the bottle open I was surprised to smell something like char on the cork. Then I poured it, and it came out thin, with a golden hue and a muddy tone. It looked a lot like brown lake water. The mouthfeel was fine, but the flavor was more in line with a bourbon whiskey than a Shiraz--woody and sweet with a harsh alcohol aftertaste.

The assessment we agreed on was that this wasn't a bad beverage, but it certainly was a bad wine. I wonder what my reaction would have been if it had been presented to me in a snifter or a goblet with the request that I try Beverage X.

*Actually, both terms are used in the United States, but I feel like being a wine snob. Even if I'm a dumb one.

We Made It.

We're in Oklahoma now, settling into our apartment. The caravan has left and we are busy putting our domicile together.

More good news: When I accessed the internet today I found an email from the Composition Instruction Coordinator at Oklahoma City Community College, and she wanted to set up an interview for tomorrow morning (Tuesday the 17th). The bad news is that she sent the email last Thursday, just hours after I dismantled the computer, and I didn't see it for four days. I called and left a message on her voice mail. I returned her email. She hasn't called back yet. Hopefully tomorrow.

I'm not happy with the way I comported myself over the weekend. I was at turns a brat, a clown, a raving lunatic, a pure idiot, and a general asshole. And those were my good moments. My family faced down the worst behavior of my adult life and didn't strangle me. I don't deserve such good will.

Another note: I've decided on aliases for my in-laws: Skiffy and the Cat Whisperer. I will explain later, because the stories behind both amuse me. But for now, I need to get to bed so I can wake up bright and early tomorrow to iron clothes and wait for the phone to ring.

We're Back From Oklahoma!

Here you go, Sly:

Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma!

We just got back from Oklahoma, and I'm tired. I'll post more tomorrow (or something), but here are some highlights:

1. That is a loooooooong drive (12 hours).

2. Staying with my aunt was fun.

3. Iowa has disturbingly-named gas stations:

3.b. But it could be worse:

4. Everything in Oklahoma is red.

5. the OU campus is amazing:

I'll post more when I'm sane.