While I generally pride myself on my big-C Cynicism, for the last couple of months I've devolved to a lower life-form: a mundane, petty, pedestrian cynic. Not surprisingly, this blog has become an expression of my state of mind. Mostly it's stagnant, with posts hovering in position for a week at a time. When this turgid river of my expressed thought does churn down one spot it displays regurgitations of pop culture, shallow reflections on quickly-read books, and mind-numbing quiz results. It's pathetic.
In addition to my own pointless posts, my spastic interaction with other blogs and bloggers has been either inane or nasty. I'm ashamed of myself, for exercising so little self control, for choosing a snarl over silence.
Once again I've been tested under pressure--the classes I've taught this semester have been challenging on a personal level and Other Things* have not yeilded results yet--and I don't like what I see. Hopefully when the semester ends, and when Other Things have been settled, and I figure out how my summer is going to develop, I can return to a stable center and re-establish a self that doesn't depress me. But for the next week, it might behoove me (and benefit everyone around me) if I just shut up.
* I've been reluctant to even mention these Other Things. Hopefully, I'll be able to talk about them soon.