First Things First: The Yankees Suck

I have hated the Yankees with a passion since the mid-1980s. The reason? The Yankees' wunderkind first-baseman, Don Mattingly, continually beat out my hero, Twins' first-baseman Kent Hrbek, for the Gold Glove award. Mattingly was a marginally better batter, but a significantly inferior fielder. Since the award is the Gold Glove, I figured Hrbek should have destroyed "Donny Baseball."

I've always had reasons to hate the Yankees, though. George Steinbrenner, if nothing else. Then there was the terrible 1996 playoffs, and . . . ugh. Anyway, no matter what, the Yankees have been anathema to my conception of what sports should be for a quarter century.

With one exception:

Joe Torre.

This is a classy man. A guy who took a gaudy franchise and lent it a bit of dignity. He allowed me, at least in vulnerable moments, to think that, okay, so this is a purchased championship--at least a good guy is benefiting from it. The Checkbook Champions had a decent man at the helm.

And now Torre is leaving.

Congratulations, Yankees. The last reason to not want your whole team eliminated by nuclear weapons is now gone.

You officially are beyond suckage. You are a black hole of sports sentiment, from which no goodwill can ever escape.