The Names Explained

I have a problem, apparently. Michele tells me I talk in my sleep--and it's not your average conversation. According to her, one night I yelled "Wahoo!" and whacked her in the head with my forearm as I raised my hands in celebration. I find this hard to believe, because I don't even say "Wahoo!" when I'm awake. I can't imagine anything inspiring me to say "Wahoo!" or "Yahoo!" or "Yoohoo!" or anything along those lines. But I digress.

Another time it seems she just happened to be awake in the middle of the night when I sat up, turned to her, and said, "We have to update the magic pizza updater!" You see, this is impossible. I don't use exclamation points. Ever. Especially not when I'm sleeping. And what the hell is a "magic pizza updater," anyway? And why would a magic pizza updater need updating? Doesn't it do the updating? Isn't that its function, as indicated in its name? Clearly she's imagining things.

So I'm familiar with how strange ideas get passed around at night. The other day, just before we left Minnesota, Michele and I stood in her parents' living room and her father described a dream he had. Michele's mother was accusing him of mixing the peanut butter--he blended the Skippy with Jif. He insisted he had done no such thing and that he resented the accusation. We decided that the resulting mixture of such an affront had to be called "Jipp." Or "Skiffy." So, he's Skiffy.

That same morning, Michele's mother went from cat to cat, explaining to each over the course of several minutes that we'd be leaving soon, that they'd be gone for a few days, but that they'd be home, don't worry. She explained to the cats that she'd arranged for a friend to come over and feed them and to make sure they were okay. And you know what? When we left, the cats didn't cry or carry on. They didn't cling to our legs or beg us not to go. They were calm and composed. So clearly the conversations worked. So she's the "Cat Whisperer."

Or did I dream that?

An unrelated note: I interview at OCCC for an adjunct position on Thursday morning. I feel good about this, and the timing is incredible.