Friday, July 25, 2008

It's Just One of Those Days

This blog is likely to end soon, because the person who started it doesn't exist anymore. He died of disappointment and disgust. In his place is a surly, nasty human being who can't even go to the grocery store without finding more to hate in humanity.

I've had it.

11 comments:

Chadley said...

Hi! It's me, Chad....random, I know. Sorry for not staying in better touch with you. I should let you know that I've been sneakily catching up on your blog at work, where I work at a computer all by myself. I love your stories, your comments on other people's blogs are among the most insightful I've read in cyber-land, and I've been humming "Hiding M&M's in a Lamb" for the last 2 days. I understand if you want to commit blogicide, but just know that one skinny dude in southern Minnesota would be greatly saddened by it.

For what that's worth. Keep the dog alive!

Nik said...

Hey Jas- I totally agree with Chadley. I'd miss your insights as well. Tho I understand where you're coming from. I've been to that point earlier in the year myself.

Blame it on the heat down there... it'd make Mother Teresa & Ghandi sing LB too. =)

Minnesota Loves The Dog!

Jim said...

You linked to Limp Bizquick instead of explaining your hatred of humanity. I posted a tidbit for you to verbally and logically rape on my blog if you think that'd help.

I'm curious, though, what pushed you over the edge this time. Maybe you just need to vent.

Gah. Now I'm worried that something happened to Michele. See? SEE?! You're not helping by not explaining!

Jason said...

Chad-

Damn, dude. We're two days from the one-year anniversary of your last blog post. I'm not sure you're allowed to . . .

Okay, I'm kidding. I'm not saying I'll stop blogging--I'll just start a new blog. I really think I need to put this part of my life behind me, and I was hoping for a natural break, but it looks like I'll have to make my own.

I'm glad to see you're still around, Chad. You're one of the good guys from my Mankato years. And I couldn't be happier that "Hiding M&Ms in a Lamb" has infected another brain.

Nik-
Not so much the heat--just the constant futility of interviewing and failing. Not failing because of my faults (which are many), but because there's somebody else that the in-group prefers. Yeah, it's because there's some attribute they have that I don't (or that they have in more abundance than I do), but I always lose.

I always lose.

Jason said...

No, Michele's good. Nothing wrong with her or us. She's the only thing in my life that's really been an improvement in the last twenty years.

I have my family, but they've always been there.

I have my friends, but they've been with me for a long time.

I don't mean to minimize any of that, but when you start thinking of the ways in which a life progresses, I have only my wife.

And some college stuff.

I'll go chew up your blog post.

Jim said...

Ah. I understand where you're coming from. When you take measure of your life and realize you aren't accomplishing things the way you expected or hoped, you start to slide into a depressive state. I've been there, which is why I was going to school: I'd reached a point in my life where I couldn't accept that I wasn't advancing- really just hovering in place. I had to move on, I had to do something.

For me, the answer was school (well, the question was more complex but the answer was still more schooling). I felt that I was undercutting my own abilities and couldn't accept that I was going to be nothing more than a third rate memory in most people's minds.

My biggest fear now is what you're facing. I'm coming to the end of my academic career (NO MORE!!) and I'll be thrust into the real world again. I don't particularly like the idea of having to do a job search again, but I feel wholly more prepared for it than I did previously. My fear, though, is that I'll be at these interviews with resume in hand and be passed by because someone else knows the HR guy or something. Or the CEO's nephew just graduated and needs a job.

I'm sorry my fears are coming true for you, Jason. In the end, though, life has a way of just working out. I learned that a while ago and it's best to just keep pushing forward. Eventually something or someone has to give.

Jess said...

I understand wanting to start a new blog. I have three blogs from the last three distinct periods in my life. It seems important to separate yourself from the person you were back then. It's nice to look back at the old blogs and think, "Jesus. I was an asshole back then." (Not that you would say that. I totally did though.)

It's delightful.

Jason said...

You're right, Jess. I don't think the human brain is capable of dealing with an entire history all at once--I need to compartmentalize. And I've been an asshole, too.

Not that I have a problem with that . . .

Diana said...

Ok.

As long as you have a blog of some kind.

Because part of my ongoing asshole-ness is I have become lousy at keeping up with people through email and I'm even worse at returning phone calls. So the reading of blogs is the only way I know what's going on with the people I adore most.

Diana said...

PS. Didja see your name in the acknowledgements? Didja, didja?

Jason said...

I did see that. I giggled and showed Michele that very second.

I'm pretty terrible at correspondence, too. That's usually the first thing people bring up when I finally talk to them again.