One reason I haven't been posting here much lately is that there really isn't anything new to say. Some of the specifics have changed, but the situation remains the same. The key factor in all this stagnation is the lack of word from grad schools. We're still waiting for word from the University of Oklahoma and the University of Minnesota Astronomy department. Michele seems to have written off the U of M, but until we hear we don't know for sure. The wait, though, is killing me.
Every time I talk to my mom on the phone she says, "Are you okay? You sound down." And she's right. I am down. Of course I'm down. All I need is a couple of little letters saying "yeah" or "nay," and I can start thinking forward. I can plan a way out of these two soul-deadening jobs I'm working; we can think of places to live where our lives will fit in the building, where we won't trip on something every time we turn around; Michele can stop worrying about feeling like a mooch. (She could stop that anyway, but she won't listen to me). So every day we check the mail, dig through the credit card offers and ads for gutter installation, and find nothing. And I know then that I'll spend another day at work with my mind on a story or an essay, and then I'll come home with my brain in space, and I'll stare at the computer screen until I have to go to the other job, where the rest of my good sense bleeds away until I stumble home, hollow, unable to sleep and too tired to care.
Any day now, things will change.