Friday, November 24, 2006

Sloth Day

Yesterday I ate enough to feed Sally Struthers's entire organization. A brunch at the in-laws's house at which I shoveled more eggs and sausage into my face than would be wise for the average egg-and-sausage eating woolly mammoth was followed by the full turkey dinner at my mom's house. By the end I felt like Mr. Creosote. And no, I don't want a mint.

I was so full that when I lay in bed last night my stomach hampered my lung capacity, so I rolled and gasped until, overwhelmed by tryptophan, I collapsed.

Now it's time to go to work. I work both jobs today, and I feel like a sloth. I can't move quickly because my arteries are full of gravy. I cry butter.

It could be worse, though. Michele and her sister have been out shopping since five AM. I could be in like at Kohl's, or screaming in a parking lot somewhere. But I'm not. I'm going to work, where it's quiet.

3 comments:

Mike said...

Man..you sound like I feel. Can't breathe..need air. I'm spent..must lay down.

Just This Girl said...

I know exactly how you feel. I sat through two Thanksgiving dinners on Thursday and I slept for eighteen hours afterward. I'm still feeling stuffed and bloated. But I get to work it all off tonight when I go to the WORLD'S LARGEST DISCO!!!!!!!!!

Be jealous. I know you are.

Mike said...

World's Largest Disco..that is amazing.